Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I finally found the missing piece to the-darn it, dropped it again...

Hello folks.
Yes, it's torture time. The time where you sit there at your computer reading meaningless ramblings of a 21 yr old who has pert-near lost his mind(87.98% to be exact). Now, I've got something to say that is great news for me. This news(you'd better sit down to read it) needs a little background first.
  1. When me, Beef an' Ram were kids, nothing was quite alright. I was an angry kid that took out all of my frustrations on the two people I hold dearest to me in the world: my sibs. Yes, there was much verbiage to provoke me from them at times, but it was no excuse for me to return it with fists and feet.
  2. I used to get back at slights both real and falsely percieved with verbiage that tends to rip holes in loved one's hearts.
  3. Now, I tried my best to stop this when I realized(yes it took me forever-I'm a dumba@$ like that) what I was doing to my relationships with my family. This is when I was about 13/14. I managed to quit hitting my sibs, but the abusive verbiage continued it's ever-marring flow.
  4. For 5 years me and Beef did not talk much at all outside a passing "Hello" or "Bye".
  5. Finally, when I turned 18, I finally approached my bro and requested a heart to heart. This talk was very difficult for me but it is something I wish I had done long before.
  6. The same night, I called my sis in Abilene and had a heart to heart with her too. There was crying on both sides(YES I CRIED! WANNA MAKE SOMETHIN OF IT?!) and she forgave me.
  7. Over the last 3 years my relationships with my sibs have improved a little, but I'm still wishing I could hang out with them like they do each other. You see, it seems most of the time like they still fear I might do or say something damaging again, but I really do try my very best not to...

Now, here's the news that I'm so elated about: on Thanksgiving Eve, me and my bro shared a hotel room and sat up most of the night talking. We talked FOR HOURS! Me and Beef(or Ram for that matter) NEVER talk that much! I was so...happy just doesn't seem to do it...happy that I had actually spent some of what at least I would call "quality time" with my little brother. Now, I don't hold any illusions that someday we will be the bestest of friends, but it is a start.

Well happy pee-o-ples, it's time for me to say goodnight. So, GOODNIGHT!

Oh, and by-the-way, Ram and Beef, if you need anything, I'm here for you...espeacially if someone has crossed your line (like that soon-to-be-throttled B*&#%-Jeff)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ram, this one's for you!

I was driving to work this evening listening to one of the 80's and early 90's gretest bands: Ace of Base. My sister, Ram, got me hooked on them years ago...anywho, there I was driving and listening and pondering the meaning of life when the song "Lucky in Love" came on. Great song, and it got me thinking about my sister's newest accomplishment: Seducing a Knight in Shining Armor and duping him into giving her an engagement ring. Just kidding, her boyfriend just asked her to marry him and she said yes(of course). Anyways, I started thinking about a line in the song that is heard as follows(it's also the chorus): "Lucky in love belongs in teenage heaven I know, I know, cuz I've been there with you tonight." Normally, a person would just sing along like a mindless zombie never wondering how that line in that song could pertain to thier life, but I, being the pondering philosipher that I am, started pondering.
  1. Does love really belong just to teenagers? Well obviously, no. However: if one is so lucky to be in love, isn't thier heart in a constant state of youthful optimism? For example: Relate my sister's relationship with her hubby-to-be, Mark with my grandparent's(who, by the way, have been married for 49 and a half years-happily). Mark looks a Ram with all the adoration and love of a puppy to it's 5-year old owner. My grandfather looks at my grandmother the exact same way.
  2. I know what it is like to be in love(though I lost her some years ago) but, I still know the feeling. Does this feeling of love you have the first day you realize you do love, the same as the day you kiss your significant other on the day of your 75th anniversary? I don't know, I don't know anybody who has been married that long.
  3. Does this feeling of "lucky love" really keep your heart feeling like a teenager's when you lay your gaze upon the object(person) of your passion? I don't know, I lost my fiance at 19, so technically I was still a teenager.
  4. Does any of this actually make sense? This also, I don't know. But rest assured: I will keep pondering the subject(stated here in #4)

But enough of the philosophy, the song is a good one, and it just made me think of my sister's oh-so-apparent happiness when she looks at Mark. As our mother said recently: It's the happiest any of our family has seen Ram in a LONG time. This is a GREAT thing. I ccan't tell you how reassuring it is that she has found a man that makes her happy. I also like the look in his eyes when he looks at her: pure adoration. Good start Mark!

Well folks, it's time for me to go now, so in closing: Ram, I truly hope you found this "Lucky Love" and it does you right and helps mend whatever wounds you heart has previously suffered. If Mark is the guy I think he is, then you truly have. LOVE YA SIS! Goodnight everyone.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I ran away, but the only place to run to is here...

Sorry for the long absence(did I spell that right?). I have been a bit preoccupied licking my wounds from the...alas, I digress. I don't need to mention any more about it. Frustrated is no doubt bragging... Well, it's back to work again after a good holiday away from home. Did anybody else miss work as much as I did? Man, today it felt like I was pulling nails through my eyeballs, but I have to get that legendary paycheck so I guess it's all worth it. Sorry again people, but I have run out of time. Anyway, one last thing: My adoring fan club has asked me repeatedly if I had run away. The answer: No, regrettably folks, when I have time, I will be back to fill your skulls with more more-than-useless info. Thats all folks!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Did Tolkien know he was right? Bet not...

Well my friends, the world of modern science has done it again! My best friend the other day was sitting in front of the boob-tube when he saw something on National Geographic that he concluded must be brought to my attention. Now remember this: though,if I believed it, I would have been as excited as a five year old boy in a dinosaur museum exhibit, I was sorely taken back. National Geographic is claiming they found a new skeleton. This is nothing new, they are ALWAYS finding some new bone or another to claim that I came from a monkey(they haven't convinced me yet...). The horribly funny thing about this is yet to come, so hang on. This particular skeleton is very short(what's new?) and has big feet(there's a new thing). Now, you might be wondering: 'What does this have to do with anything funny or the title of this blog?' Well folks(are you ready?), here it is: they believe they have found the TRUE missing link's species. What can it be?! What is it?! THEY SAY IT IS A REAL USED-TO-BE-ALIVE-AND-WE-DESCENDED-FROM-IT...........HOBBIT!!!! Yes! You heard me correctly(with that blown away sounding voice in your head)!! A Hobbit folks. No longer are we monkey derivitives! We came from hobbits. Boy, you sure do learn something new everyday, don't 'ya? If I had only know...why, I would have cried when Frodo lost his finger to Golem! ****(weeping)Golem you bastard! That's my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great GRANPAPPY! Give his (sobs) finger...(chokes with emotion)back! (a loud moaning wail amidst a stream of sobs) No wonder I only have four finger and one thumb! (more sobbing) You, you, you, butthead!**** Sometimes I wonder what Yale and Princeton will teach the scientists of tomorrow(today class we're learning that kids don't come from sex but shaking hands...). In closing: now that we have this info, go give you nearest loved-hobbit a hug and tell em how much you love em!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Geezers drool, everybody knows that...

Frustratedwriter was right...the geezers will play a good game this year; that is, for slow old men whose spirits are pert-near broken by the brazen unbound energy of thier kids. You see, we weezers realize one thing as we draw nearer and nearer to become the geezers of tomorrow: no matter how old they get, the geezers will always be able to soften the blow of thier own defeat with pretty words and soft, silken phrases of excuse. Well, not this time Frustrated! We will show just how our bronchial-relieved lungs can fill our bodies with the oxygen we need to get the legs and arms(if not always the brains) pumping and do our duty to you. That is, dragging your pride through the dust and grime as we run down the muddy fields of that legendary place carrying that brown ball of glory to the goal you know you are hopeless to keep from us! So, in closing...bring it geezers, you're only running down a dark road to defeat. Save yourselves the pain of arthritic philangies burning as you try desperately to hold on to one small glimmer of hope. The time draws near...and killjoy will once again be there: so, BRING IT GEEZERS!!!!

Pay Day!!!! (X-mas...where are you?!)

Yes folks, it's pay day again! WOOOOOPIE!!!! Let's party! Right? Nope, the only partying I will be doing is with the bill collectors...it's the same for everyone, I know. Anyhoo, I was reviewing my collective green paper printed on a cashier's check when I noticed something: Uncle Sam figured that I needed to buy him a new car, or a new house, or a new wife...anyway, He took a full quarter of my check! Now, you may think, "Big woop, he does that to me too," but the thing is that I have always claimed the same thing on every w-4...and he just now decides to deliver the big wammy-whopper! What a cheap a#@! Sorry for the needful censoring but I needed to vent.
Now, to the point of the story: I just went to santa to pull out an advance and he gave me one (wheeeew...that was close, now I can go party will bill collectors). The thing is: the bill collectors came and took his head for backpayment for past-due bills! Sorry friends, X-mas is not coming this year. Nope, and it's all my fault. Or rather...it's all Uncle Sam's fault. Yeah, I think I'll just blame it all on him like the liberals do...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Please me fools!

Hello again peoples of the o-so-happy world!
I've come to believe that someone up in the pale blue hates me. Maybe not God, but an angel maybe? Anyway, my reason for believing this is that every time I get my blazer fixed, it breaks again! It is so frustrating! ARRRRRRRRGH! You should know I am a big fan of Chevys but this time they shamed themselves...really.
Anyhoo...(i love that word...anyhoo...ANYhoo...anyHOO...AnYhOo...hee hee) I must get to the point: life sucks. Seeing this as an infallible truth, I have now adopted the saying: Life sucks, so be a bottle of caster-oil. You see? That stuff is HORRIBLE tasting! SUCK THAT LIFE!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (that last comment is to be read in a diabolical voice in your head). By the way, in ending: please donate a paltry sum of $1000 to my address for the Save the Turtle's Day Fund. Every LITTLE bit counts. (Hey, 1k bucks is a little bit, right?) And, so all of you will know, my nick name is Turtle...why should you donate? Because you wierdo! My attitude makes the world spin 'round. If I'm in a bad mood, good buy people of this gods-blasted rock! Ha ha ha ha aha ha aha ahem...(also to be read in a diabolical voice in your head).
Ok, that's all for today folks, maybe tomorrow will be better...until then, G'NIGHT!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Imma Genis

Sorry people, I'm new to this and this first blog is gonna be short. I just sat here for over half-an-hour and wrote a hilariously funny blog, then i lost it. Yup, I lost it. From now on, my name is Imma Genis. If you can't figure out the name, your new is Urra Genis. Good, we're releated and were RUSSIAN!!!!! YEAH! (sorry, I have a thing for russian accents-they are so cool). Anyways, I need to go now so I will blog ya'll later. Well, l8erz.